Here's the Deal

If you know me at all, you probably know that I'm very much a "go getter", a leader, someone who's not afraid to put themselves out there and hope for the best. I wear my heart on my sleeve for all to see most of the time. This leaves me very vulnerable, I'm usually completely alright with this. I'm not afraid to get hurt, it has happened so many times in the past I have come to accept it as something unavoidable.

But right now...

I'm scared to tell you how I feel. (It's pretty darn obvious and 'you' have probably already figured out who you are...but I don't know.)
For once, I'm scared...scared to:
leap
jump
fall.

I feel like this means something-
Am I afraid because this could be the real deal?
Am I nervous because our friendship could be at stake?
Am I worried that you'll not return the same affections?

Yes.

Well, here goes nothing...

Loss

I don't want to lose you.

I think I'm too late.

But I hope I'm not.

I realize what (who) I let pass me by, forgive me?

I'm sorry.

Please, tell me I'm not too late.

More than Once

I was in love once.
It was beautiful.
We were inseparable.
Some stuff happened, and we grew apart.

I was made of sunshine once.
Smiles and giggles all the time.
Nothing could bring me down.
Some stuff happened, and I grew up.

I want to feel that way more than once.
I want to be in love again.
I want to be made of sunshine again.
But only once more, the next one will be the last one.
THE one.
Some stuff will happen, and we will grow old.
Together.

I won't settle. But I'm impatient.

Change of Heart

Alright, I'm giving in.
As much as I resist change most of the time, I'm going to embrace some changes now.
I have decided to change my major. I haven't enjoyed a single class I've taken for my current area of study (biology), but I have loved some of my other courses so I know it's possible to enjoy college classes. As of next semester, I will be beginning classes for a degree in history eduction with special endorsements in psychology and American government.

Other changes, I may have made a mistake and I realize that now.
I don't know how you feel anymore, but I understand if your feelings have changed.
I overlooked you for too long, I know that now.
I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me.